


The Clumsy Prophet

by Nerdy_Reading_Fangirl



Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, Clumsy Stiles Stilinski, Gen, Prophet Stiles Stilinski, Prophet of the Lord, Sarcasm, Sarcastic Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 15:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18263912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdy_Reading_Fangirl/pseuds/Nerdy_Reading_Fangirl
Summary: Stiles Stilinski becomes the new prophet of the lord.  But Chuck doesn’t know what he’s getting into with Stiles.  Things will not end well. At all.





	The Clumsy Prophet

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the kill the cliche from writeroftheprompts.tumblr.com. “This is your prophecy, young one. You must use the map to-“ “I, uh, may have lost the map. Is there a backup?”

”Who the hell is that?” Stiles thought, seeing a bearded man by his Jeep. He was the last to leave lacrosse practice. Even Scott had already left, so the parking lot was deserted. Except for his Jeep and that strange man.

Stiles started walking towards him, tripping over his feet on the way there, his limbs flying out beneath him. “Whoa!” he shouted, his backpack breaking his fall. He stood up and brushed himself off before continuing his walk over, the man shaking his head and laughing.

”Is there something I can help you with?” Stiles asked as he approached him, looking around for anything suspicious. “Or do you usually lean on people’s vehicles and laugh at them?”

”We should probably talk,” was all the man replied before snapping his fingers.

”What?!” Stiles yelled looking around frantically. They weren’t in the parking lot anymore. Hell, he wasn’t even sure they were in Beacon Hills anymore. They were outside some industrial looking building that looked abandoned, and had what seemed like some hobbit hole like entrance.

”Where am I?” Stiles demanded, looking the man straight in the eyes. “Who are you? Better yet what are you? Werewolf, ghost, hellhound, unicorn... what?”

”You can call me Chuck,” the man replied. “And I’m not any of those, Stiles.”

”You’re something!” Stiles shouted, before squinting his eyes at Chuck, his brow furrowing. “Wait, how do you know my name?”

”Obviously, I’m a god,” Chuck responded, shaking his head. “But don’t use the G-word. Just call me Chuck.”

”Right...” Stiles responded, rolling his eyes.

”Really.” Chuck snapped his fingers again and all of a sudden they were inside, shelves of books all around, and two guys sitting at a table who didn’t look surprised to see them at all.

”You have got to start giving a guy a little warning when you do that,” Stiles heaved out, his hands on his knees before toppling over onto the floor.

”This is our prophet?” One of the men said with a deep, raspy voice. “Seriously, Chuck?”

”Why doesn’t anyone ever believe me?” Chuck shook his head again. “Yes, seriously. This is Stiles Stilinski. The new prophet of the Lord.”

”What?!” Stiles exclaimed popping back up on his feet fast. “Prophet of the what now?”

”Lord. Me,” Chuck said pointing at himself. “And this is Sam and Dean Winchester. They need your help.”

”How can I help?” Stiles threw his arms up. “I’m just a teenager. A _human_ teenager,” he said, emphasizing human. “I am still human, right?”

”Yes, you’re still human,” the giant, long-haired one named Sam answered. “But you now have the ability to read the word of God.”

”Speaking of which,” Chuck intervened, “you probably remember a tablet coming into your possession. I won’t be here and they’ll need you to transl-“

”I, uh, may have lost the tablet,” Stiles winced. “I thought it was just a chunk of rock. Is there maybe a backup?”

”Dude,” Chuck looked at Stiles in disbelief.

”No, there’s not a backup!” Dean said before leaning into towards Chuck and whispering, “right?”

”No, there’s not a backup,” Chuck answered. “There aren’t any USB drives for ancient stone tablets.”

”Guess we’ll have to find another way to stop the apocalypse,” Sam answered, all ready to figure out their next step and opening his laptop.

”I’ll try and find where he ‘misplaced’ my tablet,” Chuck finger-quoted before vanishing.

”Did you just say apocalypse?” Stiles asked. “Like zombie apocalypse? Great,” he said sarcastically, shrugging his shoulders. He looked towards Dean, asking, “Do I get a gun?”

”No, not zombie. More like angels and demons at war with each other,” Dean rolled his eyes. “And no you don’t get a gun.”

”I think I should probably have a gun,” Stiles answered.

Dean took his gun out of the back of his jean, checked to make sure the safety was on before tossing the gun to Stiles. Stiles went to catch it. Well, tried to anyway. The gun bounced around in his hands like a bad juggler as he tried to grab hold of it, before it fell to the floor.

”That’s why you don’t get a gun,” Dean reasoned as he bent over to pick his gun back up.

”But you do get this,” Chuck said reappearing with the tablet in hand. “It was underneath your bed. You really should clean under there more often.”

Dean pulled out a chair for Stiles, tossing a notepad and some pencils down on the table next to where Chuck set down the tablet, before he had disappeared again to Chuck knows where. “We’re going to need you to translate this for us, kid.”

Stiles sat down hesitantly, looking at the tablet, the words on it clear as day to him. He looked between Sam and Dean before picking up a pencil and writing the first few words down on the notepad. Soon he was frantically writing word, after word, after word, before the entire tablet was translated.

“Thanks, Stiles,” Sam smiled at him, picking up the notepad. “This’ll really help us.”

“You’re welco-“ Stiles tried to answer before the world shifted around him again, finding himself back by his Jeep, the sky now dark. “Hey!” he shouted looking all around and finding no one, not even Chuck. “I don’t even get to help stop the apocalypse?!” He waited a few seconds for a response before climbing into his Jeep muttering, “so not fair.”

_Meanwhile..._

”What is this?” Sam asked as he scanned through the pages of the notepad.

Dean took the notepad out of Sam’s hand looking through it himself. “Son of a bitch!” He shouted once he figured it out. “It’s the plot to Star Wars. I mean, good movie, but that ain’t gonna help us stop the apocalypse.”

”Not unless we have some lightsabers.”


End file.
